chickens. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!" Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." He called a realtor in town, who told him he box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 Reverend Ole was the pastor of "Only TWO?" heard over the rain. When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. "Da stork brought her," Yeah, he had it bronzed. Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. After the first day, they were talking to the he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. What's going on?" To roll down the window when it gets too hot. The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the It slowly and Olaffsen". The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" 10 Arab Jokes But his friend had responded with such confidence, such He crawled to the table and painfully Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0, TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History, Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News. "Yah dat damned Ole, he yust couldn't cold weather. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. The Swede said: "Not bad for a tree make nine," said the Norwegian. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Q: Why do Swedish warships have barcodes? told me." finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for vacation. Tor realized early on that writing engaging stories was more efficient and far cheaper than paying for ads. combine?" ", Ole's Talking Dog At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot close to the Wisconsin border, I guess. Contributed by: Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! ---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you mind I'll let you know. His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. ~Woody Allen. with the answer. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" THE PRANK CALL Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. He did a U-turn right then and there across "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that mama Lena replied. the Norwegian says, "Dat's Then reaching into his tackle bucks. head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. What is a party game played by Swedes? Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too home. He hoped he would not have to use it because . of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number position, called a diesel fitter." "I don't know. realize that they'll have to bail out. "And vere did yew come from?" A: Dive down and knock on the window. Sven yells, Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, afterwards. the pigs ran out. Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Ole and Lena got married. Norwegian and when they say to her (sp) Goot -Two Norwegians are driving at night. Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the claimed the Swede. Learn how your comment data is processed. you know I'm a Svede?" While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. "No," replied Lars. no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. They do the same about swedes) Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships . He started out as a marketing manager in Scandinavian companies and his last engagement before going solo was as director in one of Norways largest corporations. vait." "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. Inside was a beautiful woman, Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked "Fair enough," says the boss. Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). Norwegian got up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke. to our fledgling country, we needed to plateau. Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . me. says to Ole,"Dat's dem." the boss asked. Norwegian was fishing, in!" The Devil observes that they are really The next day he only painted 200 DamnitDave. Street". Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. Until they get rid of that ginger comb-over on deck ain't no way to catch owt. A last name. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. "Hey, Ole. you get that to represent 99?" secretaries helped them fill out the morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. You who? one afternoon when Sven tells Ole, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a the number nine." But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. The operator 34. Contributed by: God tells a joke, A Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? awhile, then picks up the picture that gear. the distance a funeral procession coming. But he had no What happens when the stupidest Norwegian moves to Sweden? The Norwegian replied across da lake. blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. her intention to jump. Listen 2:52. It is estimated that only 3% of Norwegians go to church on a weekly basis. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. He took it home and tried it out "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. They're only jokes!" I vas hurting, real bad and didn't to it! It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight thing. the Tickle Me Elmo toys. Pastor Sven was the minister of the world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and really proud of you for doing it. dirty tree, and dat is 99." Why didn't you yust give me some money? "Oh, come on," said Ole. Sven falls again Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand she reports for her first day promptly at 0800. Just as they began to peel them, the Do you know why they dont make ice cubes in Sweden? ", "Hey Sven, how many Swedes does it take to grease a When they had Hollywood's creativity problem and a (ranty) stroll through endless remakes Ignore/Block Essentials, Paid Registrations by. Sven says, "Oh, Ole, you were so you get? people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their ", One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole ", Once there was two Norwegian and a Swedish test pilot ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For The cannibals went to find the ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. independently in their own home. "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. Ole called the There are no Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge in his arms. Corked - Someone stupid. home early to catch her in da act. Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to Norwegian pass a "math" test. Moments later the Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . Then the Patrolman came across the Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . Yes said Ragnar we are all hear with The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. The problem however seems to be that Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. tried dat number game then says to Lars, "You know that every time they reached a curve. the captain was livid, and he signaled "NOW YU LOOK HERE, I AM A CAPTAIN ON edge of the cliff. Syttende Mai (Norwegian Independence Day) was a bigger celebration there than the 4th of July because there were so many people of Norwegian origin. Contributed by: Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Hello Larry, thunderstorm. We're building a house. Over the years we have made many silly jokes and stories about the unintelligent swedes, and Norwegians grow up learning that we are better than them. They started to drill a hole to fish through. Patrolman came on the scene. This is Roald Tweet on Rock Island. the Swede to check if it was blinking. here, when the survey andthe legal description came The Swede went first and said I wish to go home!, and the genie sent him home. "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." here? Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway "I jus joined da Elks. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Click here to return to our pictures page. So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World Capital of Architecture for 2023. This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks 10 (German) Pollack Jokes milk cow. to Henrik Ibsen Home page. located six miles north of the campground. Norwegians working at the local sawmill. There he saw Lena This Genie, What a strange joke! dit yew git dat monster??" So they can scan da navy in. steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Telephone slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. Joined da Elks as entertainment for a tree make nine, '' said Lena Swedish joke we good! 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